Rumble 2: Man vs Elephant

It’s time for my 2nd rumble! I’m feeling good today, strong, bendy. After a relatively easy win against an alligator, I’m on to bigger and better things. Much bigger. 

Fight 2: Man vs Elephant

I don’t fear the elephant, which is important. There is a chance they can sense fear. I get that they are huge, but what type of endurance do they have? Also, are they able to move side to side at all? I saw a video of a charging elephant one time. Now, I won’t lie, that big boy was moving, but it was all straight line speed. I truly think I’m at the advantage here with my quickness and with how slippery I am (not as slippery as my brother, mind you). 

Strategy

I don’t want this to become a research project. It’s more of a feel thing. I did look up one little fact, though: elephants eat 400+ pounds of vegetation per day! They spend their whole lives eating. Let me tell you something. There’s no food on these battle grounds. I am playing the long game here. Sure, I’d go for a tail pull here and a stomach punch there, but I’m mainly using time as my strategy. Here’s one more fact- Elephants are herbivores. They’re not going to randomly decide to eat me when they get hungry. This elephant will be so weak from hunger, which is when I take advantage. Kick, whack, flick, etc. Again, this is not a battle to the death. I just need to come out on top in the eyes of the social media scroller. You know what that means? 

Result

I’m 2-0!