Well folks, you are now in the presence of a man that has defeated an alligator AND an elephant. Unbelievable! It’s time for fight 3, taking place in the land down under!
Fight 3: Man vs Kangaroo
There’s a chant that takes place at sporting events at times when a player is deemed to not be as good as they’re hyped up to be. It goes a little something like this:
“OVERRATED clap clap clap-clap-clap, OVERRATED clap clap clap-clap-clap”
That is my thoughts on the strength and ability of a kangaroo. Yes, I’ve seen the pictures of the jacked kangaroo. I’ve seen videos of a kangaroo throwing a few punches. None of that scares me.
Strategy
Again, this is not a research project. I just needed to look up one little fact: Here’s what Google told me: Only two deaths from direct attacks are widely recognized in the last 100 years. One in 1936, and in September 2022, a 77-year-old man was killed by a pet kangaroo he was keeping in Western Australia.
C’mon. Two deaths in history, and one was a 77 year old? Give me a break. Here’s my strategy. Kangaroos have small heads. Puny, even. Yes, I realize that is a questionable word choice seeing as that’s how I described my own wrists. Don’t forget, though, I am also scrappy. Once I get going, watch out! I am feeding that mini-head with left and rights, punching relentlessly on my way to victory. I see two endings to this:
- The Kangaroo runs away
- The ref stops the fight
Result
And with that, I am officially 3-0! Although I may have broken my wrist in this one.
